FASD Listservs and Supports for Families

My son was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in 1993, at the age of six. The doctors at the Hospital for Sick Children told us that Michael's brain had been damaged in his birthmother’s womb from the alcohol she drank during her pregnancy with him. 

We adopted our son when he was seven days old. Though he had ongoing health and behavioural problems ever since he was a tiny babe, we had no idea there was something physically wrong  causing the problems. The doctors at the hospital who examined him when he was born pronounced him healthy. Our family doctor, though aware of the many problems we were having, assumed Michael was just a highly energetic child who happened to have a series of health problems.

While it may be hard now to believe that people didn’t know the dangers of drinking while pregnant, that’s the way it was. Like cigarette smoking. People honestly didn’t consider smoking unhealthy until the U.S. Surgeon General spoke out about it in 1964. Doctors smoked. People smoked in restaurants, movie theaters, airplanes. You wouldn’t dream of asking someone in your home to go outside to smoke.

The same thing with alcohol and pregnancy. The general pubic, and even most doctors at the time Michael was born had no idea of the danger alcohol causes as it flows across the placenta into the womb. The first time anything about the syndrome showed up in the medical literature was 1973. For the next twenty years, not much was added to it.

Needless to say, there was little support for the families like us who had children with FAS (now referred to as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder – FASD) because so few cases were diagnosed, and general awareness of the disorder was minimal. Money and services were directed to supporting families with other issues, particularly Down Syndrome and autism.

The situation for FASD families hadn’t changed much until recently. However, slowly, governments and social service agencies have become more aware that nine children out of 1000 in Canada are born with FASD, the largest cause of mental disabilities in children. Right now, it is estimated that 300,000 Canadians (and their families), suffer from FASD.

I was delighted recently to receive an email from an FASD educator providing a list of “listserves” for people needing support regarding FASD issues. Such a list didn’t exist years ago. We parents were on our own finding help, support and services. But then FASD advocates like Teresa Kellerman, Bonnie Buxton, Brian Philcox and Diane Malbin came along and put FASD on the map. They are amongst the FASD pioneers.

There is still little financial support for struggling families, and much ignorance in the social service world about how to help individuals with FASD and their families. Alas. Yet health and social service professionals, along with the general public are becoming more aware of the dire, lifelong effects of FASD. We can only help that along with awareness will come concrete help.

In the meantime, let me share with you this excellent list of  sites that direct you to FASD support organizations and mailing lists to join for additional information. If you know of anyone who has a child with FASD or works with children or adults with the disorder, please pass it on. And to those of you with an FASD child, I wish you courage.

To any of you interested in learning more about FASD, I direct you to this excellent site.

FASD listservs 
(internet mailing lists and support links)

FASD_Canadian_link
(for persons working in the field of FASD across Canada
 & internationally - news, articles, reports, events)


http://lists.von.ca/mailman/listinfo/fasd_canadian_link

F

FASlink
(for individuals, parents, professionals who deal with FASD)


http://www.faslink.org/faslink.htm



Olderfas mail list
(support list for parents & mentors of adults with FASD)
http://www.come-over.to/Olderfas/



fasdONE
(for FASD Ontario Network of Expertise and Ontario FASD committees & coalitions)
http://list.web.net/lists/listinfo/fasd



FASDO 
(support for Ontario families with children or adults who have FASD)
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/fasdo


Who's Neil Young, Anyway?

Americans went cuckoo last month when Arcade Fire’s Suburbs won the most prestigious Grammy award for Album of the Year. Unhappy Eminem fans took to the Tweetways, asking “Who’s Arcade Fire?” 

Well, we had our turn last Sunday at the 2011 Junos. Some younger Canadians sadly showed their own… well…lack of musical knowledge, when Neil Young walked away with two Junos – including a surprise Artist of the Year award.

How did the young'uns  respond to our legendary rocker’s win? With similar tweets. “Who’s Neil Young?”  Oh, my.  Look it up and listen to him, guys. Then tweet again, okay? 

I loved this year’s Junos.  Shania Twain and I probably have only one thing in common (wish it weren't so). It’s our overwhelming pride at the present Canadian music scene, and deep sentimentality for some of our greats, including Gordon Lightfoot, Leonard Cohen, Burton Cummings, Bryan Adams, The Band, Carole Pope, Ann Murray and Joni M.  Who am I missing. Someone, for sure.

Okay, so this year. First off, I have to get it out of my system. I’m not happy Drake went away empty-handed. I mean, London’s Shad is great and all, but Rap Artist of the Year? Wasn’t there something Drake could have won, other than my nomination for Best Juno Host Ever? He was smooth, hilarious, a welcomed self-deprecating, and bright. The Grammys should make an immediate beeline to hook him up for their 2012 show.

Now that that’s out of the way, I can get on with acknowledging my Juno highlights.

I loved hearing a great performance by Arcade Fire and seeing them garner four awards. I got to see my beloved Robbie Robertson. Neil Young’s Humanitarian Award thank you speech was all it should be. Broken Social Scene was (were?) great as ever. Even Shania Twain made my heart slightly flutter. But not as much as K’naan. And Chromeo. Who knew they existed and could be so much fun? Not me, but I do now. They’ve entered my coveted playlist.

For anyone not attuned (!) to today’s pop music scene in Canada, please, please go online and listen to as many Juno winners as you can. You will be pleased. And all you Canadians out there, PROUD (you'll be, too). You can forget The Biebs, though, unless you're under 15.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

The Suburbs, Arcade Fire

ARTIST OF THE YEAR

Neil Young

GROUP OF THE YEAR

Arcade Fire

NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR

Meaghan Smith

SONGWRITER OF THE YEAR

Arcade Fire

POP ALBUM OF THE YEAR

My World 2.0, Justin Bieber

JUNO FAN CHOICE AWARD

Justin Bieber

RAP RECORDING OF THE YEAR

TSOL, Shad

ALTERNATIVE ALBUM OF THE YEAR

The Suburbs, Arcade Fire

INTERNATIONAL ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Teenage Dream, Katy Perry

NEW GROUP OF THE YEAR

Said The Whale, Hidden Pony

COUNTRY ALBUM OF THE YEAR

A Place Called Love, Johnny Reid

ADULT ALTERNATIVE ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Le Noise, Neil Young

For all of you who made it to the bottom of this list, I congratulate you.  As your reward, I’m reprinting below a very humourous and clever Juno Drinking Game I found online created by Aaron Brophy (CHARTattack). I don’t know Aaron, but enjoyed his humour so much, I’m reprinting it here, with thanks to Aaron.

The quiz will make sense and be most fun to people familiar with Canada’ present-day music and artists, as nominated at the Junos. Much to my disappointment, I’m not sure that includes any of my friends and family. It’s a lonely world I live in.

For the rest of you, I hope you enjoy Aaron’s delightfulness:

YOUR Drinking Game CHECKLIST

Performers and presenters general interest section:

* How many back-up dancers were Chromeo able to afford for their bammed up Juno performance? 1 drink for each dancer onstage

* That drummer from Down With Webster's hair completely hypnotizes you: 1 drink

* I got drunk watching the Juno Awards and it was all Broken Social Scene's fault: 1 drink for every BSS member who's on stage

* City And Colour face game: 1 drink every time Dallas Green is shown on camera not smiling

* Someone does a "volcano" joke that nobody gets: 1 drink per volcano joke

* K'naan's wearing a sharp hat: 1 drink

* Metric face game: 1 drink every time Emily Haines is shown on camera not smiling

* Buck 65 uses any of the following words during his award presentation — gosh, golly, shucks, jeez, jeepers, or jiminy: 1 drink per reference

* Hey, Hedley's still around: 1 drink

* Holy shit, look at those jackets The Sadies are wearing: 2 drinks

* Royal Wood and Ben Mulroney present an award together and make a joke about their haircuts: 3 drinks

* Every time someone says the words "Neil Young": 1 drink

* Elf singer spotting! Sarah McLachlan, Sarah Slean and Sarah Harmer are all seen sitting in the same section in the same frame: 5 drinks

* Johnny Reid performs: Pee break!

* The guys from Blue Rodeo appear and it makes your mom happy (because she secretly lusts for Jim Cuddy): 2 drinks

* Someone goes, "Who the fuck is that?" when Lady Antebellum's Charles Kelley comes onstage to present an award: 1 drink for the person who said it, 2 for everyone else

* If the show ends with a giant group rendition of Neil Young's "Rockin' In Free World": chug

* If the show ends with Tokyo Police Club playing through the credits: 1 drink

Eye-rolling industry sub-section

* Every time Bruce Allen is thanked: 1 drink

* Every time "my label" is thanked: 1 drink

* Every time any variation of "most importantly, you, the fans" are thanked: 3 drinks

* Every time Jesus or God are thanked: 1 drink

The Drake sub-section

* Every time Drake is on-screen: 1 drink

* If Drake does a throw in a wheelchair: chug

* Any time Drake comments on how beautiful/lovely/hot all the ladies in the audience are tonight: 1 drink

The rest:

Feist got to write her own presenter lines. And they're totally heartfelt, but don't make any sense: 2 drinks

* Deadmau5 has the balls to spend the whole show in his mousehead costume and doesn't appear in his normal human form: 5 drinks

* Gonzales does, says, or wears ANYTHING weird: 3 drinks

* Gonzales plays it straight: no drinks, just tears, because The Man has officially co-opted Gonzo

* Arcade Fire are our conscience. They get to be the ones to do the "Japan" speech: 3

Glug!           

Doing the Appalachian Trail: What to eat?

Thanks for coming to my site! 

Before I talk about hiking the Appalachian Trail, let me tell you about my new book!  

Demeter Press has just pubished Not Exactly As Planned: A Memoir of Adoption, Secrets and Abiding Love.  

The book is now available for online order in paperback and e-reader from  Amazon.   

 You'll also find information about the book and book reviews, including: 

"Couldn't put it down."  "It made me cry, laugh, and cry some more"  "It's a book about love, so surprising it was such a page turner."

 I’ve always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail since I first heard about it from friends in college, many moons ago. They spent six months hikinAg the 2,181 miles from Karahdin, Maine to Springer Mountain in Georgia, passing through New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, Tennessee and North Carolina on the way. 

It took Jean and Ric six months to complete the trail. They had to carry everything with them, including camping gear, clothes and food.

Though the paths go mainly through wilderness areas, they pass through some towns along the way. Hikers often send pre-made meal packs ahead to post offices in these towns. Others restock at the local grocery stores. It’s important, they say, to maintain a minimum recommended 2000 calories a day of energy while on the trail. Many people plan for 5000.

Most hikers these days have freeze dried food packets and high density nourishment/energy bars. They generally plan out in advance how to most efficiently take in their calories and vitamins for the six month march.  

To supplement meals, a usual staple is trail mix, or GORP  (good old raisins and peanuts?). Wondering how GORP got its name, I just read that two California companies, Hadley Fruit Orchards and Harmony Foods claim that trail mix was first invented in 1968 by two California surfers who blended peanuts and raisins together for an energy snack.

However, of more interest to me is that trail mix is also mentioned in Jack Kerouac's 1958 novel The Dharma Bums when the two main characters describe their planned meals for a hiking trip.  Good thinking, guys. I bet it was an excellent counterpoint to the drugs and booze.

My friends Jean and Ric most likely carried GORP with them, but I do remember that the two main staples they lived on for the six months, to the horror or fellow hikers and nutritionists, were Wonder Bread and Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese. They’d compress loaves of bread in their packs because they didn’t take up much room, and figured they’d get their required protein from cheese product in the mac.

Guess it worked. Not many people hike the full Appalachian Trail, and certainly not on Wonder Bread and Kraft dinner.

Well, maybe they really aren't all that impressive. I've one-upped Jean and Ric. I just completed the trail  on one cup of coffee, cream, no sugar.

Update: When I first published this blog, I attached a link to a video that showed someone walking the Trail in one minute, that is, the video was one minute and the "walk" was recorded in super-fast motion, obviously. That's what I meant by  the last paragraph above: "I just completed the trail on one cup of coffee, cream, no sugar." That's the length of time it took me to watch the video. Unfortunately, the link to that video no longer works, and someone out there in internet-land attached a vimeo link to another site instead! While I appreciate the many hits that ensued on this blog. I've just removed the link

Middle East Mayhem: For me, more questions than answers

I see Libyan rebels on CNN gunned down on the streets. Someone has to do something to help them, I think. Why doesn’t the UN hurry up and make their decision to enforce a no-fly zone over the country and take down that madman Gadhaffi?

I’m like millions of other westerners watching a mighty revolution take hold in the Middle East. The People want democracy, they say. Enough with repressive dictatorships. “Our time has come.” Who in their right mind could argue with that?

Overall, Egypt has gone relatively smoothly, Syria a little less so, and I’m never totally sure what’s happening in Bahrain, Yemen and even Saudi Arabia (revolution in Saudi Arabia?). I just need a few more pictures. Then I’ll know for sure. Right?

Until then, I remain swept away with concern about Libya. The Libyans struggle is so compelling. They’re taking on a brutal regime, a torturer, a psychopath. It’s clear that the rebels, on the side of the angels it appears, can’t stand up to Gadhaffi alone. They need “us.”

Though I’ve never put much faith in the decisions world leaders make when it’s come to who they choose and support as allies (since both Gadhaffi and Saddam Hussein were at one time amongst the chosen), it’s probably for the best that such decision-making isn’t in my hands instead.

I’m a little untrustworthy and fickle about my values and interests, it seems. Who would have thought I, a ‘make love not war’'60s anti-Vietnam war peacenik, would be a likely candidate to stand beside the military hawks? But here I am.  I’ve been saying “Go get ‘em” in recent years, more often than not. 

That's right. I’ve never forgiven Bill Clinton for not going into Rwanda to stop the merciless slaughter of 700,000. And now, Libya. My (knee jerk) reaction, after seeing nightly footage of what’s happening there has convinced me that the West and UN must do something.

I’d probably unequivocally stand behind my belief if I didn’t stop for a brief second to ask myself a few sobering questions.

They’re questions I don’t have answers for, unfortunately. I can only hope the world leaders do, but I am ye of little faith. They don’t have a good track record.

I am going to give you a link here so you can look at what I consider to be the best, and most moving war photography to come out of the Middle East in recent weeks. While you’re looking, please consider, as I do, some of the questions I’ve been wrestling with. Perhaps you can come up with better answers than I can.

The questions begin:

If we hadn’t been barraged by videos and photographs of pleading Libyans asking for our help; been exposed to constant CNN coverage; or received Facebook and Twitter messages telling us what was going on the Middle East, would we have been equally concerned if only reading newspapers  or watching short news-on-the hour reports?

What if recent massacres in Darfur had had similar coverage? Why didn’t “we” intervene there, where government sanctioned slaughter of non-Arab Sudanese is estimated at close to 300,000? Because we didn’t see their blood-soaked, screaming faces often enough on TV?

Okay, so we have intervened in Afghanistan and Iraq, though I’m not exactly sure why in the case of Iraq other than it was the distorted will of the U.S.’s own madman, George Bush and his Halibuton oil company cronies. In both cases, what exactly has it done for the Iraqis and Afghanis? Have we liberated the women from male oppression? Have we subdued Taliban strongholds in Afghanistan?  How do we feel everytime a Canadian soldier is killed? That his life was taken for a just and worthy cause? 

So what exactly is our objective in Libya? Yes, we want to support the rebel forces and take down Gadhaffi, but UN military forces deny they are going after Gadhaffi.

What if air strikes don’t knock him out and his supporters keep on killing people anyway? Do we step up attacks on land? Do we have any real clue what kind of government the rebels will be setting up  should they win? Look what happened in Iran after their revolution. We’re not so nuts about the present government there, are we?

And one of the biggest questions for me, why did we decide to go into Libya and not Sudan, Congo, Rwanda. Why did we standby and watch ethnic cleansing in Bosnia? Oil, perhaps? Better CNN coverage?

And what about other areas on the verge of eruption? Will we go into Yemen, whose government has already mowed down protesting civilians? What about Syria?

What will happen if UN planes inadvertently strike civilian populations?Besides the innocent loss of lives, imagine the backlash. We don't need no backlash.

And who are these rebels, really, the ones my (bleeding) heart honestly goes out to?

Are they similar to the Afghani men I equally felt sorry for when they were being invaded by the Russians? The ones with the wool hats and shawls who, once the Russians left, became the dreaded, oppressive Taliban?

How good of a judge am I, of character or political alignment, really?  Do I have any real understanding of Middle East, Arab, Muslim and tribal politics, sufficient  to know who is my friend, enemy or really on the side of democractic, humane civic pricnciples? I fear not.

And as for our interventions, where do we stop? Where does it all end? In Libya? If so, why?

President Obama recently said, regarding the decision to enforce the no-fly zone, that it is “a chance  to align our values with our interests.” What the hell does that really mean.

From what I can tell, both the government’s and my own values and interests are in constant flux. I wouldn't trust either of us.

"Politics have no relations to morals."   Machiavelli

Tax Time and Sweet Potato Fries

I rummaged through a dozen or so messy files today, pulling out crumpled slips of paper, bills, statements, invoices and receipts from the past year. It’s tax time. That means I’ve got to reckon with the hundreds of itty bitty bits of paper I’ve shoved into files during the past year, some labelled, others that I never bothered putting headings on. I obviously didn’t think today would ever come.

Like every other year, I’m supposed to bring some order with this stuff. It doesn’t come naturally. Making organized piles and tabulating numbers to slot into predetermined categories related to my life as a freelancer is a bitch. My mind would rather design a mud hut or invent a new recipe for corn pone than figure out what to do with all this detritous.

My brain wasn’t made for filing out tax forms.  I don’t even like sitting in the same room as an accountant, and that poses a problem as well. Revenue Canada won’t be taking either factor into consideration when April 30 comes around.

I’ve been miserable all day, dreading the meeting I’ve made tomorrow with a C.A., knowing full well he'll be telling me that I'm missing some important papers, didn’t do my additions correctly and should be able to tell him what my investments’ gain/loss ratio was for the past year. Huh? Doesn’t it say on one of those itty bitty slips? 

I had great fortune for a brief moment today, however, as I browsed through my files. In the middle of one marked “Tax Receipts 2010,” I ran across something that should have more appropriately been filed in “Favourite Recipes 1998.”

How it got into Taxes 2010 is a mystery. As I said, I’m not good at filing. Finding an article I had written many years ago for The Globe and Mail when it still had a “Food” section is living proof of my organizational challenges. Nevertheless, even I’m surprised at how far afield this article found itself.

Aren’t I lucky it did. Unfortunately, the article’s date has been torn off the page, so I’m not quite sure when I wrote this little piece, so cleverly titled “There’s Something About Breakfasts.”

It’s a sweet little article. I must have written it sometime in the late 1990s,  but it has the surprising ring of something written in the early 1950s. I think, perhaps, it’s a little too sweet. My editor at the time obviously didn’t think so, who am I to judge. Nevertheless, I ‘m not completely sure it passes the test of time.

Never mind. It’s WAY more interesting than the Rev Can Tax Form or my T4s will ever be. Perhaps they should get me to rewrite them. Hmmm. Perhaps…'There’s Something About Filing Your Income Tax Return On Time.' Catchy, isn't it?

Here’s the first paragraph from ‘Breakfasts’:

“There’s something special about breakfasts. They warm your innards; brighten your day; stick to your ribs; give you that get up and go. Sure we’ve become a little sophisticated lately and learned to love Cajun brunches, three-cheese omelets and Bloody Caesar starters, but really, is there anything else that quite warms our hears the way hot blueberry muffins do, popped fresh from the oven?  Or crispy sweet potato hash browns flecked with bits of onions; pots of homemade jams or perfectly browned French toast that you drown in pure maple syrup?”

Yo! Bring them on!

This intro is followed by recipes for the muffins, hash browns and Banana Bread French Toast, all sounding mightily good. Unfortunately, the article was torn in half and the French Toast portion is MIA. All I’ve got are the recipes for the muffins and hash browns.

Quite honestly, I don’t remember ever making either recipe, but I can presume I did. I’d hate to give the impression that recipe writers don’t actually make the things they tell YOU to, but I know for a fact that it’s sometime the case. Yes, Virginia, it’s true. Now be quiet, go to your room and I’ll make you blueberry muffins in the morning if you’re good.

I’ll leave you (and all thoughts about my taxes) with the sweet potato hash brown recipe. My intro to it says:  “This recipe comes from Bonducci’s Restaurant in Northampton, Massachusetts, famed for its breakfasts.”

The recipe sounds great, but I can’t guarantee it. I’ve never been in Northampton, Massachusetts as far as I can recall.

Sweet Potato Hash Browns

3 sweet potatoes, peeled

2 chopped onions

6 Tbsp. butter, melted

2 cloves garlic, minced

white pepper

salt

Coarsely chop sweet potatoes into bite-size pieces, not too small. Mix with onions in large bowl. Melt butter, add garlic. Pour over sweet potato mixture and toss until all potatoes and onions are well-coated. You may need to melt more butter if potatoes are large.

Spread mixture on a cookie sheet in a single layer if possible. Sprinkle with salt and white pepper. Bake in 500F oven until brown and crisp, between 30-40 minutes.

Complaints Choir Complains!

We, the Toronto Complaints Choir, took our show on the road today. First stop, St. Lawrence Market, to entertain the unsuspecting noon hour lunch crowd.  We certainly complained, and, I hope, entertained. It sure looked like it. A look of recognition seemed to resonate through the crowd as we rattled off complaints, one by one (melodically, of course), By the last stanza, spontaneous  sing-alongs were in evidence.

For those of you who may not have read a previous blog I wrote about Complaints Choirs around the world, I’ll give you a brief rundown now.

The concept was developed in Finland by two musicians who thought it would be fun to transform the huge energy people put into complaining and turn it into something fun and creative.

In the Finnish vocabulary there is an expression "Valituskuoro," meaning "Complaints Choir" and it is used to describe situations where a lot of people are complaining simultaneously?

The musicians thought, "Wouldn´t it be fantastic to take this expression literally and organise a real Complaints Choir!" And they did. They solicited complaints (about anything people wanted to complain about), put them to music, solicited choir members, rehearsed and held spontaneous performances in public places throughout the city.

Their success in Helsinki prompted the organizers to encourage other major cities in the world to do the same. This winter, a Complaints Choir was formed in Toronto through the World Stage Theatre at Harbourfront. After receiving more than 1000 complaints from Torontonians, a composer was hired to take The People’s Fodder and turn it into something musical.

Local musician Bryce Kulak rose to the challenge and composed a delightful, fun, and charmingly melodic song, squeezing in as many complaints as he could. People like me (non-professional complainers!) signed up, and after weeks of rehearsals, the first performance was belted out today in front of Future Bakery at St. Lawrence Market.

The audience? Whoever was in the vicinity at the time. Noon-day lunchers, strolling shoppers pushing bundle buggies, peameal-bacon-eating children and wandering souls taking sushi and fried veal sandwiches back to the office.

There were about 50 or so of us in the choir today, our musical accompanists, and our fearless leader, Bryce, directing us from a podium set up in an aisle between coolers of raw meat and bakery shelves filled with plump ryes breads and oozing butter tarts.

Bryce created something akin to a Broadway musical hit song. It was so catchy, that by the end of the seventh (and last) stanza of the song, I saw dozens of people singing along with us. Smart move on the organizers’ part to hand out song sheets to the crowd. It was particularly smart because the cavernous market place seemed to suck up a lot of our sound. In such conditions, it’s hard for people to make out the words. And though the melody we sang is so compelling, it’s the words, aka the complaints, that make the song so special.

So what did we complain about?  You name it.

How I wish you could hear the lines sung, as they should be, rather than read. Well, you can. The video is near-perfect for a singalong. So let me give you some  idea of what Torontonians have to complain about, and did. We’ll be complaining again tomorrow after 6:00 at the Art Gallery of Ontario.

Here are some excerpts.

Nobody signals in their cars

No good 30s singles’ bars

Why do the Maple Leafs always lose?

I hate getting tiny rocks in my shoes.

Stickers on pears pull the skin right off

Please use your sleeve when you sneeze and cough

Please stop hogging that subway pole

I wish I didn’t have this unsightly mole.

The TTC is not o great

Crowded, expensive, and always late

Where are all the bicycle routes?

Upstairs neighbors walk in boots.

Where are the attractive single men?

Bugs are invading my house again

We are people not sardines,

Not everything is about you, teens!

Why don’t my children ever call

They take all my money and spend it at the mall

Why should I cook for you every night

When washing the \dishes is such a fight?

Toronto’s G-20 was a police state

I can’t get laid and I can’t get a date

Why can’t artists make a buck

Standing ovations for shows that such

Double –wide strollers are in my way

Too timid to say what I have to say

Nobody cares about your status updates

Nathan Phillips Square should sharpen their skates.

Each of these stanzas are punctuated with a rousing chorus where we harmonically repeat a decisive and common rant, including Rob Ford (Rob Ford, Rob Ford, Rob Ford),  Litterbugs, etc., Escalator Blockers, Dog Poo and Pee on the Seat.

I’ve greatly enjoyed being part of the choir and watching the creative process take shape. Bryce (and the organizers) did a fabulous job taking 1000 raw complaints and turning them into something fun and so very creative.

In a world filled with so much turmoil, from the earthquake and nuclear breakddown in Japan, the mess in Libya, and, closer to home, yesterday’s murder of a developmentally handicapped 80 year-old, it’s hard to take ourselves too seriously. Fortunately, we don’t. By playing with these complaints, we acknowledge they’re real, universal and deserve mentioning. Complaining feels good some times. It’s a nice outlet. We all need it.

And as the Complaints Choir’s fearless leader, librettist, composer and seemingly all around good-guy has written:

Complaining!

There isn’t anything wrong about it

Should be a complaining song about it

I hope you’ll all sing along about it

It’s time to finally shout about it.

Complain! Complain! Complain! Complain!

But not too much, okay?  It can get pretty boring after awhile.

A Lamentation of Swans: in praise of collective nouns

A Lamentation of Swans: in praise of Collective Nouns (see below)

Thank you for coming to my blog.

Before I write about this blog's main topic, I'd like to tell you some exciting news.

My new memoir, Not Exactly As Planned, is now available for sale from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle. To order please click here

You'll be glad you did!

 Not Exactly as Planned is a captivating, deeply moving account of adoption and the unexpected challenges of raising a child with fetal alcohol syndrome. Rosenbaum writes about family, community and the ability to rise above a tragic diagnosis with insight and clarity, while weaving in the everyday aspects of life: birdwatching, bar mitzvahs, saving the Toronto Islands, the collision of 60s idealism with the real world,and family secrets. With compassion and humour, she tells a story that is achingly unique yet universal to all parents

One reviewer said: "I  loved it. I read it in three sittings. It was so heartfelt and well-written, clearly by an amazing person who shared her life unsparingly, with honesty and zest. Kudos to her family for allowing Linda Rosenblum to lay bare their personal journey."


Now...my blog.... Enjoy!






Over 100,000 Tundra swans arrived at Long Point Bay in Norfolk, Ontario last week, after crossing Lake Erie during their spring migration from North Carolina and Chesapeake Bay in the U.S. After refueling, they’ll slowly make their way to nest in the Arctic Circle.

It’s an awe-inspiring sight to see thousands of these swans in flight overhead. I once had the opportunity to see such mass arrival, over 30 years ago, when I volunteered to band birds at the Long Point Bird Observatory in the area.  I will never forget the swans' majesty (nor deafening honk).

Thinking of  swans “en groupe,”  (or collective mass), my thoughts returned to the subject of yesterday’s blog: the beauty of the English language, and my desire to share it in its many forms. How does a collective mass of swans relate to any of this?  Follow me.

I started wondering what the name of the collective noun was to describe a group of swans. I knew it was a herd of elephants, team of horses,  clutch of chickens and  pod of whales. But what would I call a bunch of swans? 

A little research revealed the answer. A Lamentation (of course)! 

You see, I’ve returned, as promised, to the richness in  our language. What could be more beautiful to say, picture or see than a Lamentation of Swans. Parliament of Owls, perhaps?

One of the craziest oddities of the English language is that there are so many different collective nouns that all mean "group" but which are specific to what particular thing there is a group of: a herd of elephants, a crowd of people, a box of crayons, a pad of paper, etc.

There is great diversity in the collective nouns associated with animals, from a sleuth of bears to a murder of crows. I so enjoy these terms, I couldn’t resist making what I hope will be a very enjoyable list, below, of the correct terms to describe some  animal groups. Some terms you’ll know (swarm of bees, pack of mules), others you’ll simply wonder ‘how and why did anyone come up with a name like ' chine' to describe a  group of them darn crazy polecats?'

I’m not sure who made up the terms, but whoever did deserves a medal. Some are beautiful (exhaltation of larks!), some fun, and all, clever. The choice of group name doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason in regards to the animal it describes. There may be a wonderful story behind each, though, so I will do a bit of further research, Should I find anything of interest, I’ll share.

In the meantime, I’ll assume that someone with a real love of English, a bit of mischief in his or her soul, and great vocabulary came up with the idea for a husk of hares, convocation of eagles, clan of hyenas and  murder of crows.

The collective nouns below have been selected. Please excuse my formatting. I'm giving up in my quest for getting the lines straight.

For a full list of the collective nouns, click here  Excuse the poor set-up below!)

colony            of            ants

shrewdness   of            apes

congress        of            baboons

sleuth            of            bears

lodge             of            beavers

hive              of             bees

swarm          of            bees

flock             of            birds

sounder       of            boar

brace            of            bucks

swarm          of            butterflies

wake            of             buzzards

drove           of             cattle

clutch           of            chicks

cartload       of            chimpanzees

bed               of            clams

quiver          of            cobras

cover            of            coots

band            of            coyotes

congregation of        crocodiles

murder        of           crows

herd             of            deer

litter            of            dogs (puppies)

pod              of            dolphins

aerie            of            eagles

herd            of            elk

mob            of            emus

business    of            ferrets

school        of            fish

leash          of            foxes

army          of            frogs

gaggle        of           geese

colony       of            gulls

prickle      of            hedgehogs

brood        of            hens

team         of            horses

cry            of            hounds

charm      of            hummingbirds

scold        of            jays

smack      of           jellyfish

deceit       of           lapwings

exaltation of          larks

leap         of            leopards

pride       of            lions

lounge    of            lizards

plague    of            locusts

sord        of            mallards

company of          moles

pack        of           mules

parliament of       owls

bed         of            oysters

company of          parrots

covey      of            partridges

flock        of            pigeons

string      of            ponies

pod         of            porpoises

pack       of            rats

rhumba of           rattlesnakes

storytelling  of    ravens

crash    of            rhinocerouses

run       of             salmon

harem  of            seals

shiver   of            shark

flock     of           sheep

chine   of            polecats

string  of            ponies

passel  of           possum

warren of          rabbits

nursery of         raccoons

rhumba of        rattlesnakes

crash of             rhinocerouses

murmuration of  starlings

pod       of         whales

pack     of         wolves

zeal       of        zebras

Try dropping a few of these fabulous terms casually into conversation one day, as in:  “I heard that a rumba of rattlesnakes was making it difficult to hike in the Grand Canyon.”  People will beg for more, so it’s probably good to memorize ten of your favourite nouns to keep your audience happy.

My favourites? Passel of possum; storytelling of ravens; exhaltation of larks; lounge of lizards and deceit of lapwings.  

What are yours?