Blog Mea Culpa (already)

I know, I know. I swore up and down my blog last week that come hell or high water (or both), I was going to stick to three topics only in my blog. After reading article after article from blog experts telling me that a good blog should really focus on one topic only, rather than the 62 different topics I had covered in just about as many days, I decided I would listen to them.

Since I knew that focusing on only one topic was just about out of the question for a brain like mine, I listed three topics I would blog about – only.  I would write about my journey into the world of publishing with my new memoir, Love, Complicated. I’d share some excerpts from the book from time to time and the many writing tips I learned over the years while writing it. And lastly, because it’s so important to me, I’d write about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, the cluster of disabilities, including brain damage, caused by the use of alcohol during pregnancy. My adopted-at-birth son was diagnosed with FASD when he was six. Not surprisingly, FASD figures highly in my book.

Those three topics kinda related to one another, I thought.

Yet here I am, only one week later, and all I want to talk about are the movies my husband and I just saw at the Toronto International Film Festivall (tiff) in the last two days. I should have known better than to make idle promises. But I’ll be right back on course with tomorrow’s blog. Honest.

The first movie we saw was In Darkness, a movie that Sony Classics will be releasing in both Canada and the U.S. in the next few weeks. It’s a Canadian, Polish and German co-production, a story about a petty thief who hides a group of Jews in the sewers of Poland during WWII, to save them from the Nazis. It’s beautifully made, with gripping realism. A four hanky movie with enough redemptive scenes to make it all bearable. Superb acting, cinematography, art design and directing. Agnieska Hollander, a well-known Polish director whose movie credits include Academy Award winner Europa, Europa, has a firm hand on every scene.  I can’t recommend it enough. Just don’t forget the hankies.

The lesser, more indie, art-house type films we saw were Behold the Lamb from Northern Ireland, and Footnote from Israel. It’s fun to take your chances at tiff with unknown movies, and if you’re lucky, you get to see little gems like both these well-acted, thoughtful films. There are Q&As with the directors after the Tiff films, so it’s great to get behind the scenes info and ‘the making of’ background, kinda like the Features sections on rented DVD.  

It was fun being out on King Street tonight, feeling the buzz of the tiff scene with the hundreds of other movie-goers. Sure, it’s a pain-in-the-ass to get tickets, wait in rush lines and spend $22 a ticket (!), but Toronto is really lucky to have this cultural event take over the town once a year. Why not be part of it. Next year, if I decide I can part with the money, and that’s a big if, I’m going to buy myself a pass (maybe $400 or something like that) and just go see dozens and dozens of movies in a week, and maybe even take in a gala party or two.

If I’m lucky, I’ll get to see, OMG, really OMG, real live movie stars. Tonight, I only got to clap my eyes on Atom Egoyan walking around the block with his cell phone pressed to his ear making dinner plans, and three goofy-looking guys from Corner Gas talking to a camera. Next year I’m setting my sites a little higher. Maybe Brad and Angie. 

Writers (and everyone else) need friends and critics, not trolls

Writers need thick skins. We’re not the only ones of course, but shopping a book around for a publisher is tough, and it’s the rare writer who doesn’t meet with a stack of rejection notices along the way. So until I take the seriously good advice from Catherine Ryan Howard’s delightful and helpful blog, Catherine Caffeinated, and choose the self-publishing route, I’m trying to toughen up.

I’ve learned from the book editors I’ve used for my memoir Love, Complicated, that criticism can be highly constructive. Yet, I still bristle with hurt sometimes when my book or writing is criticized. I’m not sure why since overall, good solid constructive criticism has only served to improve my writing. I’ve had to ask myself why then, do I sometimes lose perspective and get all defensive with some people.

I found the answer this morning when I read a passage in a blog by Michael Hyatt, the Chair of Thomas Nelson Publishers.

“You have to distinguish between friends, critics and trolls,”  Hyatt says:

     * Friends love you and are willing to share with you the truth, even if it hurts a little bit.

     * Critics don’t have anything personal against you; they simply disagree with you.

     * Trolls are spoiling for a fight. They attack you because something is wrong with their heart. My best advice is to ignore them. If you engage them, it only strengthens their resolve.

Okay friends and critics, sock it to me if you must. Notice to all trolls: just stay away. And not just when you're talking about my book. I don't need trolls in my life for anything. I'm hard enough on myself. I don't need any help.